For a band mostly known as a brilliantly ludicrous cocktail of other’s people’s sound-styles, the Simulation Theory tour is proof that Muse have become musical legends in their own right.
“Lenny’s coming! Lenny’s coming!” When the lights go down at the O2 tonight, it’s not just the small child behind us who’s excited.
Drake walked on water at times in his opening show at the O2 Arena. Sadly this was solely down to the impressive video projection that filled the giant screens beneath his feet. The 32-year-old Canadian rapper is one of the biggest-selling stars in the world – at one point last year he had a hard-to-believe 27 tracks on America’s Billboard Hot 100 chart.
Soft Cell have been teasing us for almost three hours. “I think we might have forgotten to do one, Dave,” says Marc Almond, pacing the stage, a wry smirk on his face. His protégé, Dave Ball, is next to him, ensconced behind a corral of old analogue synthesizers. The song lyrics descending down two gigantic screens behind them illustrate the burlesque of it all. Then they smash into the queasy battering electronic opening, Almond still a mischievous sprite, something Hispanic, impetuous, hysterical about the way he delivers a lyric.
So here we are. Over a decade since we all fell in love. So many light years from the rubble to the Ritz. From Sheffield to LA, where half the band is now based. And by the looks of the audience, a fair proportion has been along for the whole ride.
Not that it’s always been easy to support them. Never mind the information/action ratio, what perhaps should concern us about the Arctic Monkeys is the genius/dross ratio in evidence since that first life-changing release. They could hardly be accused of churning out all-killer/no-filler albums. And the recent decidedly difficult (almost) concept album is just as divided between exceptional and disappointing.
“Excellent albums should be awful on first listen,” wrote Jonathan Dean in GQ. True, at least four tracks on Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino have proved to be real growers – and they’re received warmly tonight. “Star Treatment” is a sly earworm and is a sturdy opener for the set. The title track, strange as it is, fascinates. “One Point Perspective” with its paranoid supposition “I suppose the singer must die” just about works in the arena setting, “Science Fiction” – more Last Shadow Puppets than Arctic Monkeys – does not (which seems to annoy singer Alex Turner – “Show me how you really feel,” he snipes at the audience response). “Four Out of Five”, closing before the encore, is already a crowd favourite, escalating as it does until 20,000 voices unite.
But – let’s face it – it’s hard to compete for affection against the older material. “Crying Lightening” and “Teddy Picker” cause mayhem in the mosh pit. Five tracks from AM are absolutely pitch perfect for the arena: “Snap Out of It”, “Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?”, “Do I Wanna Know?”, “Arabella” and encore-closer “R U Mine?”; the mystifyingly ordinary “Knee Socks”, less so.
Unsurprisingly, the band’s intoxicating exuberance has mellowed. Those loveable scraps have grown up and moved on. What’s now missing is the feeling of this really being a band. This is Turner’s show. Even the extraordinary agile beast that is drummer Matt Helders doesn’t get much of a look in, and it feels as if the “Jam of Boston” outro to “505” is there just to give him a chance to demonstrate his exceptional skills. It doesn’t look like fun. You can see why guitarist Jamie Cook suggested that the latest offering be a solo affair.
All epaulettes, no socks and ankle-length flares, Turner’s current stage alter-ego isn’t massively likeable. Large-screen close-ups appear to encourage the amateur dramatics (a small if incredibly talented man filling a huge space). While the showmanship may be a necessary antidote to the awkward old days, it seems that charm has become smarm. What cannot be faulted is the band’s musicianship. Nick O’Malley’s steady bass keeps the whole thing on course, as he hides towards the back of the stage. And Jamie Cook has less interest in the audience than all of them – he’s away with the guitar fairies. Astonishing lighting, rib-thumping acoustics and an understated yet witty set make solid the foundations for this foray.
Holding together such a disparate back catalogue and carrying a multi-generational audience along with you as you do it, is no mean feat. Most things have changed – subject, style, emphasis – but common threads are still distinguishable, not least legendary sparks of humour and an ever-present tinge of melancholy. And a desire to push the envelope more than any right-minded popular music combo should. That's why they're still the best in the game, 13 years since they first bombarded the charts. And why this audience is still in love with them.
Overleaf: watch an hour of Arctic Monkeys live at TRNSMT Festival in July 2018
John Bishop was last on tour three years ago and he tells us that this show, Winging It, was inspired by two things that happened in the intervening period. Not the obvious Brexit (although it does make an appearance), but in that time he has passed the 50 landmark and his three sons have all left home.
Make no mistake about it, Branden Jacobs-Jenkins is a playwright to watch. London receives its first opportunity to appraise his vibrant, quizzical talent with this production of An Octoroon, for which he received an OBIE in 2014 (jointly with his second Off-Broadway work of the same year, Appropriate). His follow-on play Gloria, opening at the Hampstead Theatre in June, was a finalist in the Pulitzer drama category in 2016.
Olly Murs seems to have monopolised the market on teenage girls and their middle-aged mums - the ultimate X-Factor audience that's followed his journey from the show eight years ago. Doe-eyed kids and their over-zealous chaperones at the O2 are equally doolally when it comes to whooping in response to Olly's laddish flirtation, waving their arms in the air, crooning along, or boogying when invited to "party like it's a Saturday night".
Adele is resting her eyelids as the audience spills in, packing the 02, a huge video projection showing off those luscious eyelashes and dark eyeliner that have become synonymous with Adele style. Her eyes open as we hear the echoes of "Hello" before she appears on a small square stage in the middle of the auditorium, resplendent in a long, black, glittery gown. It's a spine-tingling, faultless rendition of the first hit from her most recent album.
In its former life as the Millennium Dome, the O2 housed a diamond collection which attracted one of Britain’s most spectacular heists. Last night featured something considerably more valuable – the composer Ennio Morricone on tour, celebrating 60 years of music, accompanied by the magisterial forces of the Czech National Symphony Orchestra, the Kodály Choir from Hungary and the Csokonai National Theatre Choir. In his 87th year Morricone is small, deliberate, but surprisingly youthful and snazzily dressed in black.