The Armstrong Lie

THE ARMSTRONG LIE Documentary about a plausible monster doesn't quite claim the yellow jersey

Documentary about a plausible monster doesn't quite claim the yellow jersey

Lance Armstrong is a Hollywood villain who just happens to be real. He bullies, lies, manipulates, cheats and destroys lives until righteous crusaders hunt him down and drive a stake through his heart. And that, more or less, will be the plot of the movie Stephen Frears is working on now. Popcorn munchers demand nothing less than a comeuppance for the bad guy. To cite Oscar Wilde, the good end happily, the bad unhappily: that’s what fiction means. It’s not quite what happens in The Armstrong Lie.

Alex Gibney, who has made uncompromising films about Enron and WikiLeaks, was the ideal director to bring his gimlet eye to the sporting comeback of the century. Armstrong had survived testicular cancer and won seven Tours de France in a row when he retired in 2005, having eluded every drug test and come up smelling of roses. He made his grand return to the Tour in 2009, and on camera not even he can convincingly explain why. To continue raising awareness for his cancer charity, shoulder to shoulder with that other slick liar Bill Clinton, is the most charitable spin you could put on it. Hubris is not a big word in the cyclist’s dictionary.

Gibney was given intimate access to Armstrong’s every movement. The only sanctum he didn’t penetrate was the toilet where the drugs tester watches him supply a sample. For first-time visitors to the Tour on film, it’s a fascinating and properly cinematic account. Armstrong runs in a respectable third (with apologies for the plot spoiler if you weren’t reading the sports pages back then). It’s not the victory his internal scriptwriter craves, and he apologises on camera to Gibney for screwing up his movie. But the bigger screw-up was to come.

In post-production the story came out. Cyclists were subpoenaed and, where they’d happily hoodwinked the press, they weren’t going to lie under oath. Armstrong was exposed and went on Oprah to make his mealy-mouthed mea culpas. Gibney had to start again, this time piecing together the story of the epic lie that everyone in and around cycling had invested in for so many years.

In this rebooted story, hindsight casts a fresh light on Armstrong’s breathtaking narcissism. As he peddles the barefaced syllogism - I wasn’t caught therefore I can’t have doped - it’s like watching The Sixth Sense the second time round: you can’t believe you missed the clues. Gibney, who supplies the voiceover, is honest enough to be ashamed that he too bought into the legend and hollered like a roadside cheerleader. So this is as much about his redemption as a reliable narrator.

The infrastructure of doping is explained in forensic detail. The testimony of witnesses fill the gaps – various teammates whose lives Armstrong casually destroyed; the sinister Dottore Ferrari who built the cyclist's post-cancer bionic body with blood-boosting supplements; Armstrong’s nemesis David Walsh of the Sunday Times (from whose book the Frears film is adapted). And there at the heart is Armstrong before and Armstrong after.

In Hollywood there would be clear blue water between the liar and the penitent. The lines are more blurred in reality. What’s finally to the detriment of the film is that Gibney cannot quite land the killer punch. “The doping’s bad,” says Betsy Andreu, who with her cyclist husband testified against Armstrong, “but Lance’s abuse of power is worse.” There is no more than superficial acceptance from Armstrong that he mercilessly caused collateral damage in his quest to be the best cheat. Perhaps it's part of his dreadful pathology that he too is seduced by his own charisma. If The Armstrong Lie had produced that confession, it would have deserved le maillot jaune. But the camera looks into the eyes of a plausible monster, and waits in vain for them to blink. For proof watch the clip overleaf.

Overleaf: 'I am one of the greatest riders of all time'

Grudge Match

GRUDGE MATCH It's Raging Bull v Rocky, done with surprising dignity

It's Raging Bull v Rocky, done with surprising dignity

It’s hard to believe your eyes when you see a film now actually exists in which Stallone meets De Niro in the boxing ring. It’s Rocky v Raging Bull, of course, a fantasy match-up no one sane ever fantasised about. It sounds like the result of a Hollywood pitch meeting gone mad, stunt casting of imperial chutzpah.

'I've gone far far too early': David Coleman, voice of sport

'I'VE GONE FAR FAR TOO EARLY': DAVID COLEMAN, VOICE OF SPORT RIP the pioneering commentator who gave his name to Private Eye's Colemanballs

RIP the pioneering commentator who gave his name to Private Eye's Colemanballs

David Coleman never said, "Juantorena opens his legs and shows his class," any more than Queen Victoria said, "We are not amused." The words belonged to Ron Pickering, but Private Eye got it wrong. The chances are that Coleman, who has died at the age of 87, was not amused. A lot of people were, however. Who knows how much damage that one mis-attribution did, how much it contributed to the image crisis that Coleman put up with for so many years?

Rush

Ron Howard's Formula One fable comfortably passes the credibility test

In the remarkably meagre annals of Formula One movies, there are only two scores to beat, to wit: John Frankenheimer's Grand Prix (from 1966), a fictional story which used oodles of real racing footage, and Asif Kapadia's spellbinding documentary Senna (2010). Ron Howard's Rush slots in somewhere between them, being derived from the true-life Seventies rivalry of Niki Lauda and James Hunt but consciously shot and written like a drama.

Football's Suicide Secret, BBC Three

FOOTBALL'S SUICIDE SECRET, BBC THREE A poignant and effective documentary about the darker side of professional football

A poignant and effective documentary about the darker side of professional football

Last year I spent the summer reading A Life Too Short, a biography of former German national goalkeeper Robert Enke by his friend, the sports journalist Ronald Reng. It’s an incredibly emotive book that uses Enke's diary entries to tell the story of his playing career, his family life, his depression and, ultimately, his suicide in 2009 at the age of 32.

Howzat! Kerry Packer's War, BBC Four

How foul-mouthed Aussie tycoon aimed short-pitched deliveries at a senile cricket establishment

Back in the Eighties, Australian TV brought us Bodyline, retelling (with some extravagant exaggeration) how Douglas Jardine's 1932 England side caused an international rumpus by zapping Australia with "leg theory" bowling. Even more seismic for the somnolent world of international cricket was Kerry Packer's World Series Cricket of the 1970s, whose story is reconstructed in this two-part drama from Australia's Nine Network (itself a part of the Packer empire).

The Men's Singles Final, BBC One

Epic melodrama, grand opera, balletic artistry. And a Hollywood ending

It’s taken many years. Most thought they’d never see the day dawn. But this afternoon, the planets were in alignment, the winds were blowing in the right direction, and the obdurate muscle-clad star of many an epic with a face hewn from Scottish granite, famed around the globe for keeping its array of expressions to the barest minimum, was seen to crack into a series of girly gigawatt smiles.

10 Questions for The Duckworth Lewis Method

10 QUESTIONS FOR THE DUCKWORTH LEWIS METHOD More tall tales and ripping yarns from cricket-loving Irish duo

More tall tales and ripping yarns from cricket-loving Irish duo

It's four years almost to the day since The Duckworth Lewis Method released their first album, a whimsical batch of songs about the myths and mysteries of cricket. It earned them a kind of nichey notoriety among cricket fans and was an eccentric treat for devotees of the duo behind the project, The Divine Comedy's mastermind Neil Hannon and Thomas Walsh of Dublin-based pop band Pugwash.

Oprah Winfrey and Lance Armstrong, Discovery

OPRAH WINFREY AND LANCE ARMSTRONG, DISCOVERY Sinning cyclist tells all to TV's Mother Superior

Sinning cyclist tells all to TV's Mother Superior

Even though this much-anticipated encounter was shown on the Discovery channel in the middle of the night, it was still generously packed with ad breaks, which may be some testament to the global selling power of Oprah Winfrey. But in fact the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN), which made the programme, has been struggling for ratings in its two-year existence while managing to burn a $300m hole in Oprah's pocket.

BBC Sports Personality of the Year, BBC One

BBC SPORTS PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR, BBC ONE Victory lap for a sporting summer falls somewhere between a rock concert, the Oscars and an arena chat show

Victory lap for a sporting summer falls somewhere between a rock concert, the Oscars and an arena chat show

Splendid summer, cataclysmic autumn. In the last six months, the BBC has tested to the limits the meaning of the phrase “good in parts”. The people at the top of the Corporation – and by March there’ll be a fourth rump in the DG’s hot seat within seven months – will have been looking forward to this seasonal beanfeast with more than usual avidity. There being no journalistic scoops to botch, no skeletons in the cupboard, no Panorama waiting in the wings – and for once no pictures to buy in from Sky - here was a chance for the BBC to cut a few shapes.