The sea: the depths from which all life emerged, and a force of destruction. Anselm Kiefer contemplates its sublime beauty and terror in a new exhibition of 24 panoramic photographs, ranged three-deep on two facing walls. Each grey and grainy seascape has been smeared and splattered with white paint and transformed by “electrolysis”, a process which isn’t further explained in the press release but which sounds suitably and impressively dramatic.

What kind of Aida would you prefer: one in which singing actors stretched to the limits find Verdi's human volcano of emotions beneath the cod-Egyptian rubble, or a stand-and-deliver production with a stalwart cast of beaten-bronze voices? Having had a taste at least of the former once in my life, I wasn't very happy to succumb to the latter in this Covent Garden revival. It was the wall of sound in the big Act II ensemble which made me at least willing to be convinced.

Does watercolour painting suffer from an image problem? Do you think of the wild, vaporous seascapes of Turner, or Victorian ladies at their sketchbooks dabbing daintily at wishy-washy flower paintings? Do you associate the medium with radical innovation or with staid tradition? And would Jackson Pollock have appeared quite so heroic flinging thin washes of watercolour around instead of viscous oils?

London’s literary world must be as small as it was in the 18th century. Or at least that’s the impression you get when you watch book programmes on the BBC, for it’s the same old characters that keep cropping up.

Joseph Mallord William Turner - Billy to his intimates, such as he had - is the notional centre of The Painter, a snapshot of the great British landscape artist as a young iceberg. Toby Jones is the main draw in this world premiere of Rebecca Lenkiewicz's new play, and he emanates quiet charisma and sardonic wit. But it's the women in his life who get the better scenes and who steal the show.

Success came early to Turner. In 1799, when the play begins, he was still in his mid-twenties but had been exhibiting watercolours at the Royal Academy for nearly a decade – possibly buying his paints from the Colourworks Reeves factory in Dalston, north-east London, a building which, in a very neat marketing manoeuvre, is also the Arcola Theatre's brand-new premises; a high-ceilinged, unfinished but striking bare-brick space.

There was more going on that year. Turner had just moved into a new studio with his devoted father whom the play and performances induce you to take for a kindly, devoted manservant until late in the game. His mother, Mary, meanwhile, was drifting into madness. In 1799 she entered Saint Luke's Hospital, but would die in Bedlam.

This was also the probable year of Turner's best-known self-portrait (pictured above), deliberately channelled in the publicity shot (pictured left) of Jones for the Arcola's production. But painted Turner is handsome, romantic - intense, to be sure, but also a little suave and patrician. Jones's Turner is unshaven, rumpled, scowling, a bit of rough. When he opens his gob, he's pure East End barrow boy. "I thought Turner was posh!" sighed a woman behind me.

Turner's father, we learn, was from the lower orders: a wig-maker who lost his trade when wigs fell from fashion, one reason no doubt for his devoted support of his son as a new meal ticket. There are also references to a world in turmoil ("Town was mad again") from the Napoleonic Wars, and Turner is cramming Dutch, perhaps on account of his lifelong passion for Holland's art. Rebecca Lenkiewicz's play is full of such elliptical detail. But - with only seven characters - it's very much a chamber piece.

As a rule, Turner didn't do portraits. In the play, he calls it "face painting". He didn't do people much, come to that. "Your heart's a hole, Billy," his mother says. The short, fragmented scenes make it hard to engage with the character, particularly in the first half (under the aegis of the Arcola Theatre's artistic director Mehmet Ergen, the scene changes in this almost-in-the-round production aren't always as swiftly and smoothly managed as they could be).

From time to time Turner holds forth to the members of the Royal Academy on his theories of art, full of contempt for the no-talent nobs, his mind never quite on the task in hand. Then, at the end, he turns to address the audience on his breathtakingly ahead-of-its-time Hannibal Crossing the Alps (1810-1812, now in the Tate Britain and pictured right): "The sun is God and it's a battle. Or dark against light... And... the light has to win."

This should be Turner's big, redeeming, barnstorming speech: a transcendent vision of sublimity, the victory of hope over despair. But at first you assume it's just another of his boring lectures. And far from being the intended coup de théâtre, you can barely make out the slide projection of the painting on the back wall.

So look to the women to pick up the slack. The play has three of them. Turner's mother, Mary (Amanda Boxer) lost her wits when she lost her adored daughter; her son treats her ambivalently and she returns the favour. Jenny Cole, an Irish prostitute (Denise Gough), poses for him and they form an intimate, curiously Platonic relationship which he ultimately betrays.

Sarah Danby (Niamh Cusack), a widowed actress clinging onto respectability, tries to domesticate Turner and unsurprisingly finds him a lost cause. They are all - especially the first two - given stonking, emotional scenes. In a production bursting overall with talent and ideas, all that's needed is for Turner's elusive being, as mazey as his explosions of painterly light, to be brought more clearly into focus.

Few would dispute the supremacy of Cranford and Lark Rise to Candleford among the BBC’s current fleet of costume dramas. Measured, domestic and infinitely gentle, there are no Machiavellian footmen or illicit trysts here, just wholesome country adventures championing those unfashionable values of honesty, neighbourliness and hard work. The lamentable histrionics of the recent Upstairs Downstairs could have done well to note these successes, adapting material free from obvious drama (and in the case of Flora Thompson’s autobiographical trilogy, almost entirely without plot) and fashioning from it something credible and engaging. Lark Rise has its saccharine-sincere faults, but there’s no denying that with its characters back in the Sunday-night television slot, all somehow feels right with the world again.

The last time I saw Wolfgang Holzmair in concert (at last year’s Oxford Lieder Festival, delivering one of the finest live performances of Winterreise I have heard) the silence that followed the cycle lasted almost 30 seconds – an absolute age where a fidgety post-concert audience is concerned. Last night’s programme of Schumann saw Holzmair finish and pause, hands raised prayerfully, holding his listeners’ attention like so many butterflies within his cupped palms. The release that followed was ecstatic, a spontaneous homage to the musical and narrative mastery of this extraordinary singer.

So this is Christmas, a time to seek comfort in traditional nourishment both culinary and cultural. In Edinburgh, the King’s Theatre has been home to mainstream panto - the equivalent of serving up a hearty turkey with all the trimmings – since time immemorial, which leaves the capital’s other theatres jockeying for position. What to do? Hedge all bets and aim for different-but-not-too-different, or raise the stakes and try something more adventurous altogether?

There is probably only one thing that Ann Widdecombe and I have ever agreed upon: we both think it might be a really good idea to stick William Wilberforce on the Fourth Plinth. Why not? It’s nice to have contemporary art in Trafalgar Square, of course, but surely there are few other reforming characters as worthy as the great abolitionist? And Wilberforce was many other things besides – though not all of them would necessarily impress the nation to quite the same degree.