Patriarchy is a trap for both men and women. This we know. But it’s not often that its takedown is as amazingly theatrical as this fabulous entertainment, Tender, by American playwright Dave Harris, now getting its wonderfully noisy premiere at the Soho Theatre. It’s a wildly immersive show, partly orgiastic, partly touching the bits other entertainments cannot reach, and brought to us by director Matthew Xia, who previously teamed up with the playwright to create the hit Tambo & Bones. Set in a dilapidated old theatre, this show explores the world of three male strippers, called the Dancing Bears, so get ready to holler and shriek. And to touch, and be touched.
But before any of this joyous performance can take place, we have to appreciate that the Dancing Bears are in crisis. Their strip club is failing, and the competition from a new venue down the block is decimating their clientele – the new place has more, and better, dancers, and, um, they have bigger dicks. So our three guys, acrobatic Trae, athletic Geoff and the older Donny, contemplate an uncertain future until, unexpectedly, they get a visit from B, the twentysomething daughter of their boss, who’s come to shake up their act. The result is a kind of therapy session in which masculinity is put in the hot seat – and mercilessly analysed.
What’s great about Tender is both the precision and the humour of the situation, as well as the eye-boggling strip show, with its jock straps and pole dancing, its reach out to the audience and its sense of unzipped libido. But the Dancing Bears are not just strippers; their performances become live sex shows, with optional porn filming as an add-on. This means that their discussions with B not only explore the familiar subject of masculinity as a kind of performative sexism, which when questioned reveals the acute vulnerability of the men, but also other taboo subjects such as what it’s like to watch your bestie have an orgasm, usually such an intimately private moment, or the difference between porn sex and actual sex.
Given that the club’s motto is "Thank you for trusting us with your pleasure!", the subject of sexual and indeed sensual pleasure is central to the story. Harris stresses the fact that many, maybe most, men do not really have a vocabulary for their pleasures, or indeed that many are unaware of what can give them joy, delight or gratification. For a man, does making a woman come feel more satisfying than discovering pleasure in his own body? What is the relationship between pleasing others and pleasing yourself? And does the macho language of masculine power get in the way of a more leisurely, less result-orientated approach?
The subjective side of these questions is represented through B’s relentless truth-seeking, which is both healing and occasionally negative. Each person’s individual feelings, B’s included (in another taboo-tickling scene), come from their life experiences, which include childhood sensations and parental responses. Harris explores this much more deeply than, for example, the much-hyped Porn Play by Sophia Chetin-Leuner, or RashDash’s rather superficial We Want You To Watch. He clearly shows how maleness is created by the pressure to conform to outdated models of behaviour, how heteronormativity survives because enough men, and women, are invested in these ways of feeling.
Yet, as the play’s title argues, aggressive sexuality, the kind of masculinity that seeks conquest, can be confronted and a different sensibility allowed in. Harris writes this material, which is explicit and often quite raunchy, with a kind of passionate intensity which makes up for the fact that, to be frank, this is just a two-part sexy dance show, with some chatting attached. The best bits are the testimonies of the three men, as they gradually discover truths about their feelings, or lack of them, which is much more interesting than some superfluous material about B’s relationship with her mother. And, despite a rather warmhearted ending which leaves many questions in the air, there are plenty of sharp insights and many hilarious lines. With lots of moments of audience participation, this is a loud and raucous evening which is both moving and theatrically exciting.
Xia’s directing on ULTZ’s set, which combines a dusty back room with a stage featuring a velvet couch and chrome dance poles, brings out the show’s laughs as well as moments of tearful reflection. The pre-show equips some of the audience with yes/no paddles and fake dollars, and phone cameras are disabled with bear stickers. The atmosphere – with throbbing music and red lights – creates a sense of expectation, which keys us up to whoop and clap. Yes, it’s a boisterous fun event, thrillingly performed by an ace cast, each man muscular and fit, performing back flips and pole swings, thrusts, whirls and gyrations – the whole lot! Shout out to choreographer Shelley Maxwell!
The acting is perfect: Kwami Odoom’s Trae is insecure and anxious to please, while by contrast Dex Lee’s is confident, oozing bravado and having quick insights into any situation. Likewise, Darren Bennett’s “Dad hot” personality, both wise and repressed, is a good counterpoint to Jessie Mei Li’s B, who is calmly intelligent and all the more powerful for this restraint. Although I would have preferred to have had no interval, allowing the two-hour play to maintain its momentum, I really did enjoy this riotous, anarchic, but ultimately loving show.
