Sarah Millican is at an age where she is pausing to reflect and in Late Bloomer, her most recent show – shown as a special on Channel 4 and Netflix outside the UK and Ireland – she ruminates on what the teenage Sarah would have thought of middle-aged Sarah.
The former was shy and bullied, the latter is super confident and a hugely successful comic. How did she get from there to here?
To set the scene, Millican divides children into two categories: late bloomers and eager beavers, and she has a handy list that explains the differences so we can see where we are along the spectrum. Among her categories is “Late bloomer: sweet 16 and never been kissed. Eager beaver: sweet 16 and already been fisted.”
It is, as many lines on the show are, delivered straight-faced followed by a cheeky grin at the audience.
Millican gets great fun out of reading snippets from her school reports – it’s fair to say she didn’t shine at school – and we also hear about her teenage life spent rummaging through Woolworth’s poster racks (an early form of Tinder, she attests) and mooning over teen idols she might one day kiss. We also hear about her school friends.
She – and they – would not have thought she would be where she is now, married to a man who, she says, doesn’t know the purpose of a toilet brush. We hear in detail how that plays out – “If you were horrified by that, hold on tight, guys!” she says with delight at the groans in the audience.
Along the way she discusses her dislike of communal showers, the six ages of knickerhood and why you should never buy her a plant.
As ever with Millican, the show has lots of filth – it’s definitely not for the prudish, and you will never feel the same way about corn on the cob again – but it’s delivered with an abundance of positivity. Great fun.
